A Letter to You
by Mrs. Renner
Summary: Castiel writes a letter to his love. (sort of AU)


_**Authors Note:** Before you read the letter keep in mind that well it is Cas writing a letter to Dean (that the way I look at it) and it is under the Supernatural fanfiction category, I use no names in it so one can very well put any two characters in that they like (except I do mention a brother at some point, so I suppose one of them would have a brother, but ya anyways...). Another thing is I started writing this not really intending it to be for Cas and Dean, but it somehow ended up that way, (which I am actually quite pleased with) so it has no context surrounding it and fits absolutely no where in the Canon story line of supernatural, so please don't go reading this expecting it to._

 _I kind of imagine it's an AU where both of them are, and have always been, human and Dean ends up dying, I would think like from an illness or something, but again I'm purposely leaving a lot up to the reader. So without further ado I hope you enjoy my little one shot letter and shot me a review if you do. Thanks dearly lovely people :)._

Dear you,

Today I heard your name whispered in the wind and a stranger saw me crumble. It was one of those days when the sun shines bright and warm and the sky was blue, but as I walked the streets all I could feel was the cold that had permanently etched itself into my bones. I let myself fall into our memories and I saw us everywhere I went, on every corner and in every widow.

Especially, on that bench in the park, do you remember that day? We went there spontaneously and you held my hand. My god did that feel good, being alone with you.

I remember you looking into my eyes, your dancing with the last fading rays of sunlight. They looked so beautiful.

You asked me what I was thinking, I said us, you smiled a small smile at me, then laid your head on my shoulder and closed your eyes. And I **was** thinking of us, how I loved you and you loved me, how we both knew it and how, even then, we also knew, that in this life, we could never be together. But in that moment that neither of us cared.

I shifted beneath you and you lifted your head to look up at me. My eyes traveled down your face lingering at your lips before returning to your eyes. I knew you had caught me staring and I remember, clearly, you leaning in, never taking your eyes from mine. My breath caught the instant I realized what was happening and Fear and uncertainty seemed to grip me tight. But then our lips met and I remember the passion, burning it all away, leaving only a hot desire for you. Oh how I remember that kiss, the softness of your lips and the way they moved against mine, and how I remember the somber sadness that lingered around us when, eventually, the need for air forced us apart. I opened my eyes slowly, funny how I didn't remember closing them, and found yours already open, you were looking ,carefully, into mine, as if you were studying my soul. We stayed close, lingering in the moment, and I could feel your breath on my tingling lips.

We heard your brother calling from far off and you smiled a sad smile at me before getting up and walking toward his voice. You didn't look back at me, still sitting on the bench, didn't wait for me to follow, because you knew I would be there when you called, you knew I would always follow. And as I watched you slowly fading into the night a tear slowly slid down my cheek falling onto my folded hands, and I knew it to.

Sometimes I go back to that little park bench and just sit there, remembering that night and imagining you sitting with me again. It's Funny how that's the memory I think of the most, the one were no words were spoken between us, and yet somehow your kiss, your eyes, your everything, were perfect. Words were not needed for us to realize how much we needed each other, how much we loved each other.

And yet I think that was the night when I truly lost you, your kiss, was your way of saying goodbye, because you slowly drifted away after that, both me and your brother could see it and I could feel it. Its now that i realize that night **was** the last time we would ever truly be together, the first and last.

I've accepted that now, but I still miss you, and the way you would look at me, the way you would talk to me and the way you would hold me.

I've given up being angry, it wasn't your fault or mine or even heavens, it was just the hand we were dealt, but I grieved, oh for a long time, I screamed and cursed the world and heaven for what they had done but I'm tired now and my soul has grown too weary to continue carrying that anger and hate around so I learned to let it go. I forgave, you for leaving me and heaven for taking you, I forgave the world for carrying on around me like my life had not been shattered and I forgave myself for not being able to save you.

I still have my days when a stranger will see me crumble and shatter all over again, days where my body will ache for yours, your presence your touch. But each time I seem to be able to put myself back together again a little more whole then before. So maybe someday I will be able to fully open the wall and let out all our memories, and remember them they way they were meant to be remembered because I know now that I will always love you. Even though you are no longer here that love always will be and I know for certain that I never want to forget you or our love. You are the greatest gift I could have ever had and even though I will forever miss you, I will always remember you, and carry your memory in my heart and soul.

So my Darling thank you for the memories and the special time we had together. I'm writing you one last time to tell you I love you, one final goodbye, a farewell, until we can be together again. We will see each other soon.

Always and forever yours,

Me

 _ **Authors Note:** Well lovely people I hope you loved my little letter one shot, or at least liked it lol. But please please review I love hearing what people have to say. Especially if someone wants to give me pointers and criticism (I mean without being mean please) but I have no beta so I always love it when people do. On that note I'm looking for someone to beta my stories for me, there mostly one shots on that have been on my computer forever that I don't wanna publish without someone looking over them. If your interested PM me. As always thank you lovely people for reading my story, and my notes. Your all wonderful :). _


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